I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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