i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize