My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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