I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
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We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
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Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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