I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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