I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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