Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
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Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
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But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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