There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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