Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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