How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Terrible idea I love it
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize