he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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