Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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