I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize