Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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