Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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