Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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