I need help removing her.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize