the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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