Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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