I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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