Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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