id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
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i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
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He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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