words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize