I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize