Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize