found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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