i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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