we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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