Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize