i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize