I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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