Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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