when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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