Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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