All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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