I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize