how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
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