ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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