We won't sleep together?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize