so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
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im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
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Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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