you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize