apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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