I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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