he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i think i have two assholes
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize