before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I forget how to act sober
Randomize