when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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