This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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