i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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