Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize