I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
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my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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